Legacy Mentoring
"[The] thesis is simple: influence matters, programs count, mentors make a difference, institutions leave their mark. When we look back at the lives of young religious terrorists, for example, we find a web of individuals and organizations that shaped them. These young people [who become killers] are not for the most part dramatically deranged individuals; they are kids who fell into murderously manipulative hands."
-Eboo Patel, Acts of Faith
The basic Legacy Mentoring relationship is structured as a triad including two younger members and one more experienced adult who has been trained in our approach. We know from recent research forming the foundation of the groundbreaking Tribal Leadership work, that higher levels of functioning and more sophisticated and healthier modes of organizational behavior are stimulated in triadic relationships. Members of the triad form profound connections with each other in an atmosphere encouraging truth telling and objectivity without criticism or judgment. Mutual learning and genuine friendship arises naturally in the course of the triadic relationship.
The Legacy Mentoring approach brings together three ways of supporting personal growth...
Mentoring
is the art of learning how a system, organization, profession or other social institution functions, both formally, and more importantly, informally. In the mentoring relationship a person with experience in the work world, organization or other institution mentors a younger organizational member, helping them adjust to and function in the system more effectively.
Coaching
is the art of improving performance. It can take a variety of forms from very directed to open ended, but in every approach the aim is to help the individual being coached perform consistently at a higher level of excellence. Support for improved performance is focused in a particular area, a sport or business for example, and includes observation, feedback and skill building.
Spiritual Friendship
helps a person sense into their deepest longings and their most profound gifts. While it too may take many forms, it is a subtle process based on deep presence and unconditional acceptance free of shame or guilt. It opens a field of inter-connection and allows a non judgmental embrace of the soul’s primordial potential, helping a person find the direction of their authentic calling or true vocation.
The Legacy Mentoring approach integrates the latest theories of learning and performance psychology with an understanding that our ability to be effective in the world and to produce outstanding results is limited by the degree to which our potential is diminished by our resistance and self-interference. Research clearly shows that deep practice—learning progressively in stages--is critical for achieving goals and sustaining high levels of performance over time.
In order for learning to reach deeply into the human soul it must be embodied. The process of embodiment brings us in direct contact with the recurring stories, restrictive emotions, negative beliefs and the patterns of physical tension that hold us at bay. As we come up against, and begin to melt each level of resistance we encounter a deeper set of potentials…and a new set of fears.
As we embody those newly liberated capacities and overcome the inner obstacles it is important that our redefined identity is mirrored by people in our environment who matter. Otherwise, the strong tendency is for people to slide back to their previous level of learning and identity.
Embodied learning integrates thought and feeling in a capacity for skillful action. As our redefined sense of self is seen and validated in the legacy mentoring relationship, we begin to enact a new repertoire of responses to our life conditions and begin to meet the world with a new level of skill, a new narrative, and a new set of emotional responses. We become stronger, more resilient and better able to be present and effective, even in the midst of changing circumstances.
The legacy mentoring approach weaves together: the experiential foundation of successful mentoring; the open ended questioning and skillful reflection of the best coaching, and the quality of empathic presence exhibited in the most profound relationships.
Our mentor-coaches offer a translucent mirror that allows participants to experience a new way of being and acting, free of the negative conditioning they may have inherited earlier in life. We invite participants to step into the unknown, experiment, and go beyond the boundaries of their current knowing from a place of deep trust, security and profound relaxation.
This state of being provides access to the sweet spot for learning. It creates the cognitive and emotional predisposition necessary for adaptive learning and produces lasting change that liberates a new potential for effective action. Attachment theory tells us that neural plasticity, the ability of the brain to learn new routines at any stage in the life journey, is heightened when we attain a secure attachment.
We also know from the groundbreaking work of Dan Siegel, that we can reprogram our attachment even late in life. Secure attachment prepares the foundation for more rapid learning, allowing us to learn new behavioral routines at any stage of our lives. This is only possible, however, when we receive uncritical support in a safe atmosphere.
Being seen is a fundamental aspect of any process where we redefine our sense of identity. When our deepest skills and most profound aspirations are mirrored back to us in a supportive atmosphere we begin to re-experience our very sense of self and become a powerful and effective force of love and compassion, able to make a real difference in the world and to find more satisfaction in our personal and professional lives.